Granddaddy

I'm sad.  My heart hurts.  But, I'm also thankful that I got to be one of his grandkids and that he gave my kids the very best Grandjoe.  I'll be missing my Granddaddy.

Roll over, Beethoven

Elgin rolled from his back to his stomach yesterday.  I would describe the moment, but I'll have to get Grandjane to guest blog.  He did it while I was at work and Grandjane and Grandjoe were playing with him at their house.

Three months old and already tackling the tough milestones--watch out world!  EW Hughes is about to take over.  In a cute way.

3 Months

On this Thanksgiving 2011, it's not hard to imagine what I'm most thankful for, including my happy, healthy three month old baby Elgin.  No Krispy Kremes this time around, but a Thanksgiving feast was enjoyed in his honor.

 These boys make me smile, and I love how much Henry loves his brother.

 I can't imagine life without these two Hughes boys.

I also cannot imagine life without Cory who smoked me my own free range turkey with only salt and pepper for seasoning.  Who else among us had a personalized turkey?  My husband really takes the cake.  

I would be remiss to not mention my deep gratitude for our family and friends, our home, our jobs, pay at the pump, and Whole Foods.

TED et al

We completed the first week of my total elimination diet on Monday, and it happened to coincide with the discovery of a tiny, tiny amount of blood in EW's diaper again.  Instead of calling the pediatrician, I called and spoke with one of the lactation consultants at the hospital where we delivered, and she suggested that, since I am seeing improvement in some areas (no more fussing at feedings, eczema spots are clearing), the continued trace blood and the lovely mucus poop may be related to my over supply of milk and the super fast let down which could possibly be irritating to his system.  The over supply and let down issues manifested very differently with Henry, but at least I already know that it can be an issue.

So, her solution is for me to pump and bottle feed for three days.  We started yesterday, and EW is taking the bottles from me beautifully.  He's doing it just before I go back to work on Monday, too, so this bottle boot camp is actually in good timing.  He still wants to nurse after the bottle is finished, and since I pump beforehand, I let him if he's really desperately rooting.  I think it will also help him to continue to want to nurse after the three days are over.

I called and spoke with Dr. Song today, our regular pediatrician who I was, admittedly, avoiding since I was afraid she would push formula.  My fears were not validated, and she agreed that I should just stay the course.  She was a little shocked that a lactation consultant suggested a bottle, and she believes the diapers are still less than desirable only because it takes time for him to heal from the previous irritation.  Still, since I know that I do have an oversupply, I will follow through with the bottle feeding suggestion.

The current plan is to stick with TED and bottle feed for three days.  I'm exhausted from the pumping and bottle assembly.  Yet, I feel hopeful that we can just see this issue through to resolution.  The main reason that all involved in his care are OK with this plan is that Elgin is a very happy and peaceful baby.  

When I told Dr. Song that I sometimes worried about whether or not I was doing the right thing for Elgin, she simply said, "You are."

Proof that I find everything EW does fascinating

Boooooooooo

Changed a nasty diaper this morning, and EW projectile spit up on both of us around 3:30 this morning.

Come on, TED, don't fail us!

Temptation...

I would really, really like some dessert right now.  Here's what's getting me through it:  I am almost certain that EW had a normal poop this afternoon. 

H was getting his hair cut, and Elgin rid himself of some irritating extra ounces, and when I changed his diaper in the lounge area, my heart skipped a couple of beats when I saw what looked like a yellow, seedy poop.  Yea!  More, please!

Grabby

My baby is grabbing stuff now.  It's usually a happy accident when he properly grips something, but he very purposefully brings it to his mouth.

 Ahhhhhh!

 Just a shot of his proud face

 They're just teething rings... not ninja stars.  Yet.

Fall

Is Fall especially gorgeous this year?  We've been trying to take in as much as we can.

Falls Park

 Cory was there for a photo shoot, but H, EW, and I were enjoying the surroundings.

 Two serious dudes:

 Sly like a fox

 Why you should always have someone else take pictures of your kids...

My handsome hubby

 Swamp Rabbit Trail

 A very cool wind chime

 Resting after lunch

 Quick rest on the trail

 Beautiful

 Made even more beautiful with my son...

 The best bus stop ever...

 And at home

Well Done

My turkey was de-li-cious!

Tonight's dinner was kind of funny.  I fixed turkey and roasted potatoes for myself, turkey and marsala-glazed turnips for Cory, and turkey, carrot sticks and an apple for Henry.  I'll be eating a lot of turkey, and Cory is going to make turkey stock with the bones so that I can use it for rice and broth soup and even for mashed potato liquid.

Right now, the TED diet is sounding pretty good, huh?

Millet? I don't even know it!

This morning marks the beginning of my third full day on the Total Elimination Diet.  I decided to take the plunge and do the TED starting on Sunday afternoon, which was the culmination of a weekend filled with periodic crying spells and general despondence.

On Friday morning, I changed Elgin's diaper only to find blood again.  My heart dropped, and I called the doctor who said to go ahead and bring him in to be checked.  After a lunch on a somewhat uplifting gorgeous trail with Cory, Henry, and EW, I took Elgin to his appointment.  Dr. Song isn't in on Fridays, so we met with a different doctor who examined my smiling, talky baby then explained that, after two weeks, we expect to see improvement and definitely not a worsening condition.  After lots of negotiations and some tears and a shaky voice on my part, we agreed to give the milk-free diet another week to see if symptoms improve before switching to a specialty formula.

Formula?  I have so. much. milk.  My milk.  My baby.  My milk is supposed to be tailored to my baby's needs.  It helps keep him from getting sick, creates euphoria for both of us, and it gives him the very best start he can have. And, when I start work right smack in the middle of cold and flu season, I plan on nursing him on my lunch break.  We were going to still have that special time in the middle of the day.  And, Elgin's night sleep is amazing.  He now chooses to sleep from about 8:30 to 5:30, and I don't really want to mess with whatever is helping his body to make that choice.

But, then, my milk is harmful to him.  With hindsight, we now think he never actually had a cold--just the beginnings of his protein allergy.  And no one wants to see blood, even a tiny amount, in their baby's diaper.  It's scary, and I sure don't want him to hurt.

I read every label and avoided milk and dairy like it was poison.  What went wrong?

But, yet, so much is still so right.  He fights some nursing sessions but generally loves it once he can snuggle in comfortably.  And, he's a happy baby, crying the loudest when he's sleepy and wants to drift off NOW and not later.

I get it.  I'm a grump when sleepy, too.

Enter Total Elimination Diet.  The idea is to eat the least allergenic foods of each group then slowly add back foods to see which ones trigger his symptoms.  It's tough, but once you have a child, you find out how tough to you can be and the lengths you will go to in order to make sure they're OK.

So, for two weeks, I'll be eating free range lamb and turkey, yellow and green squash, rice and millet (made millet for breakfast yesterday--not bad, but it's no oatmeal), sweet and white potatoes, and pears.  I will drink only water, rice drink (pretty delicious stuff), and diluted pear juice.  My alloted seasonings are salt and pepper.

For the most part, I'll be making two meals--one for me, and one for Cory and Henry.  After all, Cory did just complete a Trader Joe's and Costco shopping spree on Sunday morning, hours before I made the final decision to go off the edge of reasonable eating.  My older boys have a lot of perishables to consume!

Once symptoms clear, and I do hope I finally change a non-mucus poop diaper and never, ever see blood again, I can begin adding back some more generally safe foods, one every four days, while keeping a journal of what I eat and recording any symptoms of sensitivity.

It may sound extreme, but it's not nearly as extreme as giving up nursing when all else seems well.  If he were bleeding regularly, fussy all the time, or not gaining weight, I would stop.  No question.  But, since making the decision to try TED, I feel much more at peace, and my crying ceased.

Well, I did tear up yesterday when I gazed upon my frozen milk supply that my baby cannot have:

There is selfishness wrapped up in my decision.  Nursing my babies is one of my great joys, and I don't want to give up easily.  I prayed about and pondered this decision and tried to decide what was best for Elgin and our family, and not just for me.  This decision feels right to both Cory and me, and if Elgin could tell us, I think he would agree, too.  The hardest part, so far, is having to gently turn down H's offers to share his Halloween candy.

Today, I roast a whole turkey for the first time.  Please be delicious!  I have to eat it for quite a while.

And, please, please let this method work for my sweet Elgin.  If not, then I am praying that we will make the next decision with peace, too.

Best sounds in the world...

The low chuckle we've been hearing for weeks...

The guffaw that made its debut yesterday and blossomed today...

No Milk. No Soy. Oh, boy!

Today marks our second week of a milk-free diet.  Milk resides in tons of foods, and soy likes to sneak in, too.  Really, it's not nearly as bad as I at first anticipated it to be, but I want to see instant results.  Instead, today marks the first day that we should even expect to see improvement.  Two Thursdays ago was the only time that we saw blood in his stool, but his diapers are, without going into too much detail, rather messy.  He certainly has a marked increase in fussiness while eating, too, which we are also addressing and hopefully resolving soon.

I spent some time on the phone with Dr. Song yesterday, and she assured me that staying the course is the right thing to do.  It's too soon to cut out anything else like eggs or nuts since we may already see slight improvement, and, as she said, I have to eat something.  

It's really hard to know that my sweet baby hurts, and I hope that, in several more days, he will be completely rid of the proteins that irritate his system and that he will be completely healed from any intestinal damge.  Oh, how I wish I knew from the beginning that cow's milk would harm my baby.  I would never have touched the stuff!  

Our sweet Elgin is still a sweet, happy baby, though.  I am thankful for his disposition and for his health.  I don't think that a day will go by that I don't feel a whoosh of gratitude for his life. 

Our 3.9 year old

I met with Henry's head teacher, Ms. Susan, this morning for the parent/ teacher conference.  Here's what I learned:

• Henry remains an enthusiastic learner and wants to participate in the activities and hates to miss out
• He sees himself as a reader, picking up books and discussing the illustrations and even using some memorized words and sight words
• Henry's art appreciation just might be growing.  Ms. Susan says he never picks an art activity at first, but it's easy to get him to sit down to draw, and he absolutely loves to discuss his drawings
• He and his BFF C pick the computer center together whenever possible and actually are rather fun to watch as they tell each other what to do
• His number sense is well advanced, and he does great with addition and subtraction both with and without visuals
• Henry plays well with all of the kids in the class but definitely has a close bond with C.  Ms. Susan says she loves how excited they are to see each other.
• The five year old girls try to play "getting married," and Henry denies their proposals and brings them to tears
• He verbalizes displeasure to his friends and isn't a tattletale.  She even says she saw him walk away from a few situations that he didn't like.
• He tells great jokes

She also explained that she had to use the three year old assessment but that she could easily use the four year old assessment tool, which is used through age five.  Now, of course I love hearing all these wonderful things about my son, but the best thing to hear is that he is happy and active.  And, since I get to hang out in the classroom while I'm on leave, I'm fairly positive that Ms. Susan isn't just blowing smoke up my enlarged you-know-what.

I am so glad he's not a tattle-tale.  Is it the teacher's daughter in me?

Sweet Face

Hanging out in his favorite hanging out spot

Tacky enough for you?

Last week was Spirit Week at H's school.   Here he is on Tacky Tuesday.

Daddy is such an overachiever.

Sweet baby...

asleep in my arms.

I am in just a little bit of denial that maternity leave ends this month.

Art and Loop holes

This morning, Daddy said that, on the way to church, Henry would play a song on the harmonica then Daddy would guess them.  He played so well that Daddy guessed almost every one correctly.

We did recently discuss the possibility of forming a family band.  Watch out, local access cable!

Henry is really into art today, which is very unusual.  He's drawing with his markers and having Daddy and me interpret his abstract art.  After finishing his last masterpiece, he informed me that, "You can't draw in reading books."

"You're right, Henry."

"Unleesssss... you don't know who the book belongs to.  Or, if you have two of the same book."

Geography Lesson

I spend a large portion of the morning in H's classroom, which means I sit through all of group time, or at least the part we make it in time to attend.  Today, when H, EW, and I settled in to listen, Mrs. Denise was using the felt board to display various country's flags and ask how they greet and in what languages.

She pulled out the Israel flag.  Henry turned to me, and with a wide-eyed whisper said,  "That's where the North Pole is!"

Nostalgia

I know it's early, but I am already feeling nostalgic about my tiny newborn.  So, in honor of his astonishing growth at two months, I'm posting pics from day two through our homecoming.

Sigh...

 The sign I created when I was giddy with excitement but Elgin was slumbering away:

Hearing test.  He passed!

 Nana and Granddad's lightening quick visit:

 A few swollen Mama pics below...

Henry haaaaated my IV's.

But he looooooved his brother.

 H has the camera:

Closeup 

 Going home day:

 Daddy prepares the outfit:

Sleepy, satiated baby:

 Thirsty Mama!

 Surprised H!

 Sweet baby about to go home and meet Penny and see most of the rest of his world.

 Ready to go!

 Bros riding together for the first time:

Home!