Grabby

My baby is grabbing stuff now.  It's usually a happy accident when he properly grips something, but he very purposefully brings it to his mouth.

 Ahhhhhh!

 Just a shot of his proud face

 They're just teething rings... not ninja stars.  Yet.

Fall

Is Fall especially gorgeous this year?  We've been trying to take in as much as we can.

Falls Park

 Cory was there for a photo shoot, but H, EW, and I were enjoying the surroundings.

 Two serious dudes:

 Sly like a fox

 Why you should always have someone else take pictures of your kids...

My handsome hubby

 Swamp Rabbit Trail

 A very cool wind chime

 Resting after lunch

 Quick rest on the trail

 Beautiful

 Made even more beautiful with my son...

 The best bus stop ever...

 And at home

Well Done

My turkey was de-li-cious!

Tonight's dinner was kind of funny.  I fixed turkey and roasted potatoes for myself, turkey and marsala-glazed turnips for Cory, and turkey, carrot sticks and an apple for Henry.  I'll be eating a lot of turkey, and Cory is going to make turkey stock with the bones so that I can use it for rice and broth soup and even for mashed potato liquid.

Right now, the TED diet is sounding pretty good, huh?

Millet? I don't even know it!

This morning marks the beginning of my third full day on the Total Elimination Diet.  I decided to take the plunge and do the TED starting on Sunday afternoon, which was the culmination of a weekend filled with periodic crying spells and general despondence.

On Friday morning, I changed Elgin's diaper only to find blood again.  My heart dropped, and I called the doctor who said to go ahead and bring him in to be checked.  After a lunch on a somewhat uplifting gorgeous trail with Cory, Henry, and EW, I took Elgin to his appointment.  Dr. Song isn't in on Fridays, so we met with a different doctor who examined my smiling, talky baby then explained that, after two weeks, we expect to see improvement and definitely not a worsening condition.  After lots of negotiations and some tears and a shaky voice on my part, we agreed to give the milk-free diet another week to see if symptoms improve before switching to a specialty formula.

Formula?  I have so. much. milk.  My milk.  My baby.  My milk is supposed to be tailored to my baby's needs.  It helps keep him from getting sick, creates euphoria for both of us, and it gives him the very best start he can have. And, when I start work right smack in the middle of cold and flu season, I plan on nursing him on my lunch break.  We were going to still have that special time in the middle of the day.  And, Elgin's night sleep is amazing.  He now chooses to sleep from about 8:30 to 5:30, and I don't really want to mess with whatever is helping his body to make that choice.

But, then, my milk is harmful to him.  With hindsight, we now think he never actually had a cold--just the beginnings of his protein allergy.  And no one wants to see blood, even a tiny amount, in their baby's diaper.  It's scary, and I sure don't want him to hurt.

I read every label and avoided milk and dairy like it was poison.  What went wrong?

But, yet, so much is still so right.  He fights some nursing sessions but generally loves it once he can snuggle in comfortably.  And, he's a happy baby, crying the loudest when he's sleepy and wants to drift off NOW and not later.

I get it.  I'm a grump when sleepy, too.

Enter Total Elimination Diet.  The idea is to eat the least allergenic foods of each group then slowly add back foods to see which ones trigger his symptoms.  It's tough, but once you have a child, you find out how tough to you can be and the lengths you will go to in order to make sure they're OK.

So, for two weeks, I'll be eating free range lamb and turkey, yellow and green squash, rice and millet (made millet for breakfast yesterday--not bad, but it's no oatmeal), sweet and white potatoes, and pears.  I will drink only water, rice drink (pretty delicious stuff), and diluted pear juice.  My alloted seasonings are salt and pepper.

For the most part, I'll be making two meals--one for me, and one for Cory and Henry.  After all, Cory did just complete a Trader Joe's and Costco shopping spree on Sunday morning, hours before I made the final decision to go off the edge of reasonable eating.  My older boys have a lot of perishables to consume!

Once symptoms clear, and I do hope I finally change a non-mucus poop diaper and never, ever see blood again, I can begin adding back some more generally safe foods, one every four days, while keeping a journal of what I eat and recording any symptoms of sensitivity.

It may sound extreme, but it's not nearly as extreme as giving up nursing when all else seems well.  If he were bleeding regularly, fussy all the time, or not gaining weight, I would stop.  No question.  But, since making the decision to try TED, I feel much more at peace, and my crying ceased.

Well, I did tear up yesterday when I gazed upon my frozen milk supply that my baby cannot have:

There is selfishness wrapped up in my decision.  Nursing my babies is one of my great joys, and I don't want to give up easily.  I prayed about and pondered this decision and tried to decide what was best for Elgin and our family, and not just for me.  This decision feels right to both Cory and me, and if Elgin could tell us, I think he would agree, too.  The hardest part, so far, is having to gently turn down H's offers to share his Halloween candy.

Today, I roast a whole turkey for the first time.  Please be delicious!  I have to eat it for quite a while.

And, please, please let this method work for my sweet Elgin.  If not, then I am praying that we will make the next decision with peace, too.

Best sounds in the world...

The low chuckle we've been hearing for weeks...

The guffaw that made its debut yesterday and blossomed today...

No Milk. No Soy. Oh, boy!

Today marks our second week of a milk-free diet.  Milk resides in tons of foods, and soy likes to sneak in, too.  Really, it's not nearly as bad as I at first anticipated it to be, but I want to see instant results.  Instead, today marks the first day that we should even expect to see improvement.  Two Thursdays ago was the only time that we saw blood in his stool, but his diapers are, without going into too much detail, rather messy.  He certainly has a marked increase in fussiness while eating, too, which we are also addressing and hopefully resolving soon.

I spent some time on the phone with Dr. Song yesterday, and she assured me that staying the course is the right thing to do.  It's too soon to cut out anything else like eggs or nuts since we may already see slight improvement, and, as she said, I have to eat something.  

It's really hard to know that my sweet baby hurts, and I hope that, in several more days, he will be completely rid of the proteins that irritate his system and that he will be completely healed from any intestinal damge.  Oh, how I wish I knew from the beginning that cow's milk would harm my baby.  I would never have touched the stuff!  

Our sweet Elgin is still a sweet, happy baby, though.  I am thankful for his disposition and for his health.  I don't think that a day will go by that I don't feel a whoosh of gratitude for his life. 

Our 3.9 year old

I met with Henry's head teacher, Ms. Susan, this morning for the parent/ teacher conference.  Here's what I learned:

• Henry remains an enthusiastic learner and wants to participate in the activities and hates to miss out
• He sees himself as a reader, picking up books and discussing the illustrations and even using some memorized words and sight words
• Henry's art appreciation just might be growing.  Ms. Susan says he never picks an art activity at first, but it's easy to get him to sit down to draw, and he absolutely loves to discuss his drawings
• He and his BFF C pick the computer center together whenever possible and actually are rather fun to watch as they tell each other what to do
• His number sense is well advanced, and he does great with addition and subtraction both with and without visuals
• Henry plays well with all of the kids in the class but definitely has a close bond with C.  Ms. Susan says she loves how excited they are to see each other.
• The five year old girls try to play "getting married," and Henry denies their proposals and brings them to tears
• He verbalizes displeasure to his friends and isn't a tattletale.  She even says she saw him walk away from a few situations that he didn't like.
• He tells great jokes

She also explained that she had to use the three year old assessment but that she could easily use the four year old assessment tool, which is used through age five.  Now, of course I love hearing all these wonderful things about my son, but the best thing to hear is that he is happy and active.  And, since I get to hang out in the classroom while I'm on leave, I'm fairly positive that Ms. Susan isn't just blowing smoke up my enlarged you-know-what.

I am so glad he's not a tattle-tale.  Is it the teacher's daughter in me?